I struggle with how to find friends, just like many of you that I hope that I am reaching with this post.
I will admit, I spend a lot of time on social media.
The more time I spend on social media the more I see the entries and videos of
I feel so alone.
I don’t have any friends.
Who wants to be my friend?
In this age of internet and social media it makes sense that is where we turn to when we are looking for social interaction.
Making friends as an adult takes a whole different skill set.
When I turned 18 I left my hometown, so I don’t really have any BFFs since high school kind of things.
Let’s start with my Army buddies. I will tell you in the 30 odd years since I have seen these guys I know that they would have my back.
I have those friends that I made while I traveled with my husband to different Army bases living in housing. Nothing like bonding with other military dependents about struggles that are uniquely yours.
Then there are dance moms. NOOOO don’t go to that series. I meet and made friends with some of the greatest women this way. You know who you are.
I have made friends online as well. Not through social media. I think most of the online friends I have go back before social media existed. They were through homeschool groups, or online entrepreneurship groups, or those that I actually worked with in online jobs.
Looking back I do see a common thread between all these groups. Do you?
All these “places” I mention above that I have meet friends at are places that we all have something in common.
It could be a place we are, the circumstances we are in or the activities we are doing.
How on earth do we do this in this age of social media?
Join a group?
Now I mentioned I met friends online through homeschool groups. Do you have an activity that you know there are people with common interests that may just be looking for other people with common interests? It could be web design, crafting, reading, planning, gardening etc. Find yourself a group. Facebook is a great place for groups. But also look for hashtags.
I realize that many people that struggle with this are die-hard introverts. This makes social media so hard. It takes a different skill set that meeting people in real life. You actually have to put yourself out there. Let’s be honest no one is going to notice you are in one of these great groups if you don’t participate.
You just went into a panic didn’t you? I know how hard this is. Just so you know, I am as much as an introverted as many people who I hope that are reading this.
Let’s start small. Just make it a goal to reply to one person a day. Is that doable? I didn’t say you had to post, but one reply is interacting with someone.
Always remember though that the person on the other side of the screen is a real person with feelings. They may be just as introverted as you are. Posting that may have been the hardest thing ever. So always be kind.
You will find that the more you reply to post the more comfortable that you get.
Build your way up to making that first post in your group.
You can do this! I have faith in you.
If you really want to make friends you have to … target where you look?
As humans most of us feel the need to bond with other humans. It’s easier to find those if we look in the right places. Put it this way, it is harder to make friends if you you don’t speak the same language. It isn’t impossible it is just harder.
So go out there and find your people.
You got this!