I just had to share with everyone what I just got in my email! Just too funny. I needed the laugh and it hit the spot! Enjoy! feel free to share it with someone who needs a laugh!

No Sex Tonight!!!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their heads, while women with their hearts.

For example: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and eventually she says ” I just don’t feel like it, I want you to just hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words every man on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I decided to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at her favorite department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide on which one to take, so I told her we should just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said we’d get a pair for each outfit. Then we went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you she was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because next she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I threw her for a loop when I said “Honey, that’s fine.” I believe she was almost near sexual satisfaction from all the excitement. Smiling with anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I just don’t feel like it.”

Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT??”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had that look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.