I just had to share with everyone what I just got in my email! Just too funny. I needed the laugh and it hit the spot! Enjoy! feel free to share it with someone who needs a laugh!

No Sex Tonight!!!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I have never figured out why men think with their heads, while women with their hearts.

For example: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and eventually she says ” I just don’t feel like it, I want you to just hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words every man on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I decided to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at her favorite department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide on which one to take, so I told her we should just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said we’d get a pair for each outfit. Then we went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you she was so excited. I started to think she was testing me because next she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I threw her for a loop when I said “Honey, that’s fine.” I believe she was almost near sexual satisfaction from all the excitement. Smiling with anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I just don’t feel like it.”

Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT??”

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had that look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.

I blogged last week about goals and the importance of writing them down. Well today I want to muse about something similar, but maybe not so much.

Some of us have more patience than others. Some of us (this would include me) have no patiences what so ever. I want what I want and I want it now. Looking at my list of goals it seems there are a lot of things on there that are so very far away. I mean years! How ever will I make it that far? I want that life right now!

It would be easy to see that and get discouraged. To forget working toward that goal because it seems so far off and so unattainable. I have seen this happen to a lot of people.

That is why it is important to take those long range goals and break them down. For example let’s go back to me and my book. I want to have a book published in the next 2 years. Don’t know about you, but that seems like a life time away.

Easy to get discouraged and procrastinate. But if I wait for 18 months and then say wow I am almost to my 2 year mark to have my book published, my chance of meeting my goal are not very good.

Breaking down that goal into smaller goals is what will get you to the finish line.

I will have my book written in rough draft in the next 12 months. OK that seems still like an eternity away doesn’t it?

I will spend one hour every day writing my book.

That is a smaller daily goal. With that goal I can see daily progress on my goal. It may be hard to get done, but it is doable. With that I should be able to reach my goal to have it written in 12 months.

There are several things that are important about goals.

Make them realistic. Goals that you can and will accomplish.

Write them down. This makes them more real for you.

Break them down into smaller goals so you can see yourself progress towards your bigger goal.

I know you will accomplish your goals! Stick to it and reach for the stars!

Doing my school work this evening and this chapter is really hitting home. I am taking a class in business mastery.

The number one barrier to success is … Can you guess? While it list several things as self sabotage to your success, such as possing a poor self-image, blaming other for misfortunes, expecting failure, putting yourself down, repearing errors and surronding yourself with inappropriate people, the number one thing that is the barrier between you and success is PROCRASTINATION.

Wow, nailed me on that one didn’t they? I do that so much!

They also state that the a motivating factor should be the joy of actually accomplishment. And to do this you should have well defined goals. I really need to work on this one. ALOT.

So ….

Tomorrow my goal is to make my goal list for my business. To sit down and prioritize it. To break it down into chunks that need to be accomplished and set myself a time line.

Time to become successful!